Taking Refuge

The last 3 weeks have been personally challenging. My mother is very ill and it’s been a one day at a time, hour by hour, breath by breath experience for all. I’m very grateful that the practice has given me so much refuge in facing my own fears and weaknesses.

In an article that captured my “need” to practice in a very simplistic way, it said:

The foundations we set, and the lessons we learn on the mat transcend to our everyday lives. As we explore the body and its capabilities, we also explore our limitations – in all aspects of ourselves – and how they change over time.

So, yeah.

The years of training, not only the body, but also the mind, in the practice of awareness has given me the strength I needed in the last few weeks I’ve spent with my family. There were many days when old patterns and conditions would arise, but taking a step back and a breath or two, I remember that what arises passes.

Right now, watching my mother go through the suffering of aging and sickness, I realize the frailty of our existence even more. The urgency to live in the present moment; the fragility of our hopes and dreams; the importance of having faith; and in the midst of all the ongoing variety of experiences, maintaining a non-grasping attitude. I constantly remind myself to control what I can and to let go of what I can’t. There are also moments when I allow myself to fall apart and that’s OK.

May we all be well. May we all be safe. May we all be at peace. May we all feel connected. May we be willing to face fear and relinquish self-harm. May we all be free from suffering and the root of suffering.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-CHANGES

In my years of practice, so many changes have occurred. I am no longer the same person I was when I first started on this path. The unfolding continue to happen at different levels – physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically, instinctually, intuitively. There are good days and there are bad days, and all I can say is, IT’S ALL GOOD.

As David Bowie wrote…

I still don’t know what I was waiting for

And my time was running wild

A million dead-end streets

And every time I thought I’d got it made

It seemed the taste was not so sweet

So I turned myself to face me

But I’ve never caught a glimpse

Of how the others must see this faker

I’m much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-Changes

Don’t want to be a richer man

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-Changes

Just gonna have to be a better man

Time may change me

But I can’t trace time

I watch the ripples change their size

But never leave the stream

Of warm impermanence and

So the days float through my eyes

But still the days seem the same

And these children that you spit on

As they try to change their worlds

Are immune to your consultations

They’re quite aware of what they’re going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-Changes

Don’t tell them to grow up and out of it

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-Changes

Where’s your shame

You’ve left us up to our necks in it

Time may change me

But you can’t trace time

Strange fascination, fascinating me

Changes are taking the pace

I’m going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-Changes

Oh, look out you rock ‘n rollers

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-Changes

Pretty soon now you’re gonna get older

Time may change me

But I can’t trace time

I said that time may change me

But I can’t trace time

Isn’t he the coolest? Let’s sing it. =)