The last time I went home to visit my mother, I realized how much I miss her. I miss how she was always there for me in company and in friendship. I miss her old form. Then all these practices on non-attachment just hit me – form is empty.
Things, people, experiences – they come and go, and we don’t really understand what that means until someone so dear to us has changed so drastically even before you can say, “wait a minute; not yet!” But the deed is done and there’s nothing you can do, except live with what is here now. Truly practicing living in the present moment.
And in living in the present moment, practicing compassion towards oneself and others who are also affected by the experience.
May we all be well.
May we all be at peace.
May we all feel connected.
May we be willing to face fear and relinquish self-harm.
May we all be held in compassion.
May we be free from suffering and the roots of suffering.
The last 3 weeks have been personally challenging. My mother is very ill and it’s been a one day at a time, hour by hour, breath by breath experience for all. I’m very grateful that the practice has given me so much refuge in facing my own fears and weaknesses.
In an article that captured my “need” to practice in a very simplistic way, it said:
The foundations we set, and the lessons we learn on the mat transcend to our everyday lives. As we explore the body and its capabilities, we also explore our limitations – in all aspects of ourselves – and how they change over time.
The years of training, not only the body, but also the mind, in the practice of awareness has given me the strength I needed in the last few weeks I’ve spent with my family. There were many days when old patterns and conditions would arise, but taking a step back and a breath or two, I remember that what arises passes.
Right now, watching my mother go through the suffering of aging and sickness, I realize the frailty of our existence even more. The urgency to live in the present moment; the fragility of our hopes and dreams; the importance of having faith; and in the midst of all the ongoing variety of experiences, maintaining a non-grasping attitude. I constantly remind myself to control what I can and to let go of what I can’t. There are also moments when I allow myself to fall apart and that’s OK.
May we all be well. May we all be safe. May we all be at peace. May we all feel connected. May we be willing to face fear and relinquish self-harm. May we all be free from suffering and the root of suffering.